Date Everything!

Date Everything! takes dating sims to a surreal extreme by allowing players to romance anything—from objects and animals to abstract concepts. In this narrative-driven game, players explore wildly branching dialogue trees and bizarre courtship scenarios, blending absurd comedy with surprising emotional depth.

Romance Without Limits

The game opens with a simple choice: who—or what—do you want to date? But instead of humans, you’re faced with options like a sentient toaster, a brooding thundercloud, or the concept of time itself. Each character or object has its own questline, relationship needs, and compatibility traits.

• The Knife: A sharp-tongued companion with trust issues and a cutting wit.
• The Moon: Cold, distant, but with a gravitational pull of romance.
• A Jar of Pickles: Briny on the outside, emotionally tender within.

Branching Paths and Unique Endings

Date Everything! uses a complex decision system. Dialogue choices impact your relationships and unlock different story arcs, some romantic, others tragic, and many hilariously weird. Some dates have multiple forms or personalities, and players must adjust strategies mid-run to maintain affection levels.

• Gifting items that match their symbolism builds faster rapport.
• Certain dates may require solving logic puzzles or passing poetry challenges.
• Multiple endings include “mutual love,” “existential rejection,” or “transcendence.”

Unlockables and Secret Suitors

As players progress, more unconventional partners become available. Some only appear under special conditions—like turning off the UI, speaking in riddles, or answering questions in silence. This adds an investigative layer to an otherwise humorous and lighthearted game.

1. Use emotional alignment meters to track compatibility in real-time.
2. Replay to unlock 100+ potential dates, each more bizarre than the last.
3. Complete secret arcs to romance abstract ideals like “Regret” or “Hope.”

Date Everything! is not just parody—it’s a bold experiment in interactive storytelling, offering a unique blend of absurd humor, creative writing, and heartfelt surprises. In this game, love truly knows no bounds—even if it means proposing to your refrigerator.